29 May 2012

I really have nothing interesting to say for this post, I just really needed to collect and clarify what I’m feeling right now. I know I’ve had some previous entries here about my frustrations and what not and other emotional shenanigans or rants so this is probably gonna end up being another one of those entries. So here it goes.

Lately not a lot has been happening in my life. Im still employed and doing a job which I know find oh so boring and thus I am starting to realize that I do not really like what I am trying to like. Then there’s the additional reasons at work that make me not like what I do even more such as my take home pay differs every cut off( I mean, really? I thought all the government taxes and SSS and GSIS and PAG-IBIG funds had a certain amount that needs to be taken every month, but my basic pay never changes, unless there is a holiday but there really isn’t a holiday every freaking cut off, so what gives? Ignore this rant, lol I’ll just ask my mom about it). 

Another issue I’ve been having with myself is that I feel like everyone around me is already doing something to take them to the next level of their career and life, recently I found out that some of my college batch mates are already going to law school this S.Y. and then my best friend just graduated from college so she’s already out there hunting for a job (which I have no doubt she’ll get an extra super awesome one) and I have some friends who are already working at embassies ( those friends of mine that came from a batch lower than mine) and even though I am extremely happy for all of them, I can’t help but notice why the heck am I not doing anything to get to where I want to be? I’d really love to go back to school and probably take an MBA but mom said I have to work first. That’s okay, but hte thing is, I HATE WHAT I DO RIGHT NOW. I don’t think it can actually contribute anything to me when I do get to the point where  I am already studying for my MBA.

I was researching on possible schools and the graduate programs they offered when I stumbled across DLSU’s graduate program called the MBA-JD program, its a double degree program that enables grad students to study for an MBA and a Law degree at the same time, this would take and estimate of 5 years, provided that you pass all the subjects on time. I sort of became interested in the program but I had to be honest with myself, would I even stand a chance to get in and actually finish the whole program without going insane? I saw the curriculum and of course, there was math and law. I could probably take the law part, but somehow I think the way I think isn’t exactly what I would need in law school. I guess I’m setting the bar a little too high for myself again. But then again, why not? This is my life, Shouldn’t I be helping myself excel? I mean, that’s what my friends and everybody else is doing right? anyway, I still haven’t decided if I would pursue taking this program or maybe just stick with the normal MBA program. For now I go to another issue I have right now about my career.

I know I’ve told you that I’m already unhappy with my job right now, but I can’t really do much about it cause I haven’t been regularized yet which means that I haven’t been in the company for longer than 6 months and I can’t really quit since before I worked for this company, I previously resigned from another company where I was only employed for a mere 3 months, so if I want a good looking resume, I will need to stay put for at least a year and a half, which really isn’t a problem for me if it weren’t for the uber boring and demanding job cause I would be forwarding the rest of my resume to the DFA so that I could be in the waiting line for future openings there. So the next question on my mind would be, Do I really want to work for the government? Would I survive the low pay and long distance that I would have to travel just to get there?( I live in quezon city and the DFA head office is in manila, so for a girl who’s only learning to commute from technohub to fairview, that’s quite a frightening experience to look forward/dread in the future) I’m already unhappy as it is with my pay check right now so how would I feel if i actually did work for the government? plus I kinda hate the government right now, its humiliating hte country in front of the world all because our freaking politicians are unaware of the divide between the church and the state, even between the three branches of our government. they say they want change but c’mon, the only thing their doing is get involve in each others lives and forget about creating policies and bills that might actually help the people! I guess what I’m trying to say is, I cannot believe how some of our politicians are so stupid and hypocrites and close minded about the country’s situation. I guess people like them stained and ruined the image of the Philippine government for me. I don’t trust them and I don’t think I can give myself the chance to especially if our very own president is ignorant about what is actually happening.

I guess most of the issues I have right now i which path I should be taking my life and how should I be as a person. Its actually very tiring to think about these things every single day. I fear failure and I fear disappointing my mom. I want to be a somebody someday. I want to make her proud of everything I can and will accomplish provided that I figure out what they are already. also, I want to be proud of myself for being the person I wanna be; the person I should aim to be, the real me.

For a more shallow issue, I do not understand why I am having a difficult time losing weight! its ridiculous, I do boxing everyday, I am now trying to watch what I eat but nothing is working, I am still gaining weight! its so depressing, I don’t wanna eat anymore! ugh! any wya, enough with my rant. I gotta go to bed, my work starts at 6am tomorrow, another reason I hate what I do right now. :|

Goodnight! :)

BWMO.

(Source: heyantoinette)

28 May 2012

My Boyfriend turned 21 yesterday! :)
He celebrated his birthday with dinner at home with his family and me. It was pretty simple but very fun and casual. here are a few shots:

 
The Food! :)

The Birthday Boy! <3

Jake’s adorable 2-year old niece, Ena! So adorable! She was our entertainer for that night! haha! :)

Eating all of our ice cream! HAHA! we had 2 flavors of ice cream, she was eating the cheese flavored ice cream first from everyone who was eating the cheese flavored ice cream, then, when jake got the cookies n’ cream flavored ice cream for both of us, he fed her some and  she abandoned the cheese flavored ice cream eaters and started eating our ice cream!haha! she was sooo cute! we asked her what taste better and she said “yan”(this one)! :D so adorable!

Jake and Ena. :)

Me, Ena and Jake. Had fun adoring and playing with these two! LOL

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY MY ChubBieY! :) <3 <3

BMWO. 

(Source: heyantoinette)